Friday, March 23, 2012

SYBIL HAS NOTHING ON ME

Remember Sybil? Sally Field made her and the sixteen personalities living in her head famous in the 1976 movie of the same name.
Poor Sybil lived with sixteen people in her head. I feel compelled to ask…JUST sixteen?
I have writer friends who worry about their next book. Where will it be set? Who will the characters be? How will they interact?
There are days I almost envy them their indecision. I don’t have characters, I have a whole community. I wake up with them, I go to bed with them, they whisper in my dreams, and invade my prayer time with their never ending requests for attention.
Which prompts my earlier question. JUST sixteen? Let’s take a look at the community living in my head every day.
CALLIE: Hey guys, I think she’s waking up. Are you awake yet? Can we talk about the part where I--
Me: Your story is done, go away.

BENTON: You know, I’ve been thinking about a story line we could work on…
Me: It’s called the WOMEN of Valley view for a reason, Sport.

KARLA: Do you plan on getting back to my story anytime soon? You left me in a very difficult situation.
Me: You have three chapters. Be grateful. Kate has none.

KATE: About that…
Me: Oh good grief.

MITCH:  I have this great story about I guy I worked with.
Me: W.O.M.E.N!!

TERRI:  I hope you’re in a better mood since you’ve had your coffee. Can we talk about that whole wedding scene?
Me: I am not writing a wedding scene done in orange and black, even if it is Halloween.

STEVE: Don’t worry, Terri. I’ll write it. I can do a better job than her anyway.
Me: It’ll take me 14 keystrokes to turn you from a successful writer into a starving plumber. Would you like that?

IRIS: If you keep talking to my Dad that way, I won’t speak to you anymore.
Me: PROMISE?

SAMANTHA: You know, I really don’t think starting my story when Bobbie is four is a good idea. We’ll miss so much of her life.
Me: When you can write it, I’ll read it.

PASTOR GORDON: Would you like for me to pray for you, dear?
Me: Somebody needs to.

JEREMY: I see, after paging through the files in your brain, that I’ll be sixteen in book six. Can I have a LAMBERGINI?
Me: Let me spell this out for you. N.O.

MEAGAN: If he gets a LAMBERGINI—
Me: There will be no LAMBERGINIs

PAM: She’s giving our children LAMBERGINIs
HARRISON: We’ll sue.
Me: No words, just banging my head on the keyboard.

ALAN: Heaven’s pretty nice.
Me: Shut up!

PATRICK: Can I say something?
Me: NO!

SISKO: Patrick, let’s go shoot some hoops. Maybe she’ll be more approachable later this afternoon.
Me: Yes, please try me again next year.

LISA: At least you get to play basket ball. All I ever get to do is be pregnant and take care of babies.
Me: Go talk to Pastor Gordon. He’s looking for someone to pray for.

I wonder who’ll they’ll get to play me on the big screen?

Do you ever feel like the lone crazy person in an otherwise sane world?

### Don't leave just yet. Check out the offerings on the side bar. Karla has 2 new books featured on her page. Stop by for a visit with Bonnie Calhoun and get a peek at her upcoming release Cooking the Books, Shannon Taylor Vannatter and her book Rodeo HeroTerri still has her book review and interview with Regina Jennings is her guest this week, talking about her debut novel Sixty Acres and a Bride. Leave a comment on any page between now and the 31st to be registered to win a copy of this marvelous book. Last but hardly least, Pam has a yummy new recipe for you.###

8 comments:

  1. LOL This is great! You had me rolling in laughter! I love it! My characters are usually a bit more circumspect - as in not all talking to me at once. Perhaps you should take the pastor up on the prayer bit - wait...what's he looking for? Oh, I know, more preaching time...well, that's okay! LOL

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  2. Love it! I think all fiction writers can sympathize to a certain extent. I know I can. LOL :)

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  3. This is wonderful, and yet it leaves me wondering if perhaps we should be worried. Maybe you should find a real pastor to pray for you. :) (And if you respond that Pastor Gordon is real, I'm calling the men in white coats. Can anybody spell straight jacket?)

    LOL!

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  4. For once, as a writer, I can say that I'm thankful for my multiple characters setting up their kingdom in my head!

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